


Bury Me in the Ocean Floor Beneath You

by IronPunk



Series: Above the Sea [7]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aquariums, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-17 13:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronPunk/pseuds/IronPunk
Summary: Brad doesn’t say anything. He’s kind of trying not to get a public boner over the fact that Ray is giving a presentation on engineering and wearing glasses. He thought the kid was a bit of a yokel but here he is confidently presenting up in front of a crowd.Brad must stay quiet for too long because Nate is snapping his fingers in front of Brad’s face. “Are you… No way,” Nate says gleefully. “I thought you hated him.”*This is technically a prequel to Graphic Oceans but it can be read as a standalone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The representations of the men featured in Generation Kill is based on characterizations in the show and not on the real men. No disrespect is intended.

Ray has the bad habit of getting hyperactive before he gives presentations. Well, more hyper than usual. Manic even.

It makes it hard for him to do basic things like paying attention where he is going. Which is how he crashes into the back of a blonde, tall, brick wall of a man on the way to breakfast.

The guy is hotter than a solar flare, but his face screams _murder_ .

“Sorry, big guy,” Ray says absently. He needs to find Walt so maybe he can get talked down before he explodes. He is halfway to stress crying and that was not going to end well for anyone.

“Hick,” the guy says meanly before stalking off. Ray is automatically offended even if he technically used to be a hick.

Ray quickly gets his breakfast from the buffet and finds Walt, who is sharing a table with yet _another_ handsome blonde man. Jesus.

“Can’t you find more ugly people to hang out with so I’m not the only one?” Ray jokes as he sits down next to Walt.

Walt rolls his eyes. “You need new glasses, Ray.”

“Hello,” the other blonde guy says cheerfully. “I’m Nate.” He extends his hand for a handshake.

Ray stares at him before Walt nudges him into action. “Ray,” he says. He awkwardly reaches out to shake Nate’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Ray. My friend Brad should be joining us soon.”

Please let it not be…

“Gentlemen.”

Ray looks up and holds back a grimace. It’s the hostile blonde man from before.

“Brad,” Nate warns. “Be nice.”

Brad pulls back his lips into a toothy, manic smile. He looks like a total doofus, but Ray knows that he's a murder machine.

Nate facepalms. “This is Brad.”

Ray is not shaking Brad’s hand. He needs his hand to turn the pages of his powerpoint presentation later and it would be painful to do with crushed, broken fingers.

“Hi I’m Walt,” Walt says cheerfully. He elbows Ray hard in the stomach. Again.

“Ow you sheep fucker,” Ray whispers harshly to him. “I’m Ray.”

“Walt and I work together,” Nate explains.

“I picked Ray up somewhere and can’t figure out how to get rid of him,” Walt jokes. Ray has to fight back a flinch. He kind of hates when Walt jokes about that. It feels closer to the truth than Ray is comfortable with.

“High school?” Nate asks.

“Yup,” Walt says cheerfully. “Debate team.”

“We’re here for our high school reunion,” Nate says. He’s giving a fond look to Brad who is rolling his eyes.

“What year?” Ray asks quietly.

Nate flutters his eyelashes. “You can’t expect us to reveal our age! Not when I know how young Walter is.”

Talking dies down as they eat their food and it isn’t long before Brad grunts and taps Nate’s watch meaningfully.

“It looks like we need to get going,” Nate says. “Are you guys here the whole weekend? Maybe we’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” Walt says. “Text me.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Ray says politely, but he hopes he never sees these people again. Talk about awkward.

“You too,” Nate replies. Brad doesn’t say anything. Case in point.

~~~

Nate and Brad are kind of lost, not that Brad would admit to it. The hotel has two ballrooms attached to their events center and they just happen to walk into the wrong one.

Instead of a cheesily decorated high school reunion, they’ve walked into a professional conference.

“Is that…” Nate squints. “Ray presenting up there?”

Brad doesn’t say anything. He’s kind of trying not to get a public boner over the fact that Ray is giving a presentation on engineering and wearing glasses. He thought the kid was a bit of a yokel but here he is confidently presenting up in front of a crowd.

Brad must stay quiet for too long because Nate is snapping his fingers in front of Brad’s face. “Are you… No way,” Nate says gleefully. “I thought you hated him.”

“I do,” Brad grunts.

Nate grins. “You’re not allowed to one night stand him. He’s Walt’s best friend.”

“Not a problem.”

“Because you’re going to fall for him aren’t you?” Nate asks joyfully.

“Fuck you, Nathaniel.”

“There’s no time, Bradley. We need to head to the reunion.”

Brad looks up at Ray and makes a pained face.

“We can hang out with Ray later,” Nate says before cackling. Brad’s never going to hear the end of this. Unless he murders Nate. Which is _always_ an option if Brad ever wants peace in his life.

Once they find the wrong ballroom it doesn’t take long to find the correct one and they are swept into an extremely glittery room that is supposed to transport them into the world beneath the sea. Brad really wishes he _was_ beneath the sea so he could drown, but Nate would never forgive him.

He takes a name tag from someone he probably would have recognized if he didn’t spend high school avoiding everyone and makes a beeline for the bar. Nate slowly follows, stopping to talk to the various ding dongs that he tolerated for Nate type reasons.

Brad can feel people’s eyes on him. It’s a little late for these people to have a chance with him seeing as they ignored him for being a nerd in high school. He usually didn’t bother but right now he doesn’t mind torturing them a bit before he crushes their spirits.  

~~~

Despite Brad’s best efforts they stay at the reunion until late in the night and don’t see Walt and Ray until the next day. Not that Brad  _needs_ to see Ray or anything but he is far more entertaining than people Brad avoided in high school.

Brad perks up when he sees Ray in the breakfast line and he maybe scares a few people away so he can stand in line with him. His efforts are thwarted when a woman he brushed off at the reunion stops to talk to him and Ray ends up a few people ahead while Brad gets mildly groped by the pancakes. He’s very grumpy when he sits down to eat and gets grumpier when Ray looks uncomfortable sitting next to him at the table.

“How was the reunion?” Walt asks.

“Lame,” Nate says. “But also worth going to for secondhand embarrassment. People definitely reached inappropriate levels of public intoxication.”

Brad grunts in a way that hopefully means that he agreed with Nate.

“How was your conference?” Nate asks. Brad still doesn’t know how he lucked out with a friend like Nate. Nate _likes_ talking to people and even though he gives Brad a hard time he still has his back. Like when he has to talk to Brad’s crushes for him since Brad has never been able to talk to someone he was interested in without scaring them.

“Ray did a good job presenting and talking to industry people. I’m just here for moral support.”

“And because you want to mooch off my stipend,” Ray grumbles.

Walt just beams at him. Brad wonders if they’ve ever slept together and gets a little irrationally jealous.

“When are you guys heading back?” Walt asks.

“We’re driving back after breakfast,” Nate answers.

“Driving back hungover versus driving home in the middle of the night?” Walt jokes.

“Basically,” Nate replies. “Even though I’ll be heading back with a grizzly bear.”

Brad glares at him. He was more like a polar bear thank you very much, _Nathaniel_.

Ray looks uncomfortable and it pains Brad that he can’t bridge the awkward gap he created between them. Brad is such a fuck up.

“You’re hopeless,” Nate says to Brad as they leave the breakfast room. “He’s not going to fall at your feet like all of your other groupies.”

“I don’t have groupies,” Brad bites out.

“So that woman with her hand on your butt in line just slipped? Total accident?”

Brad glowers at Nate to no effect.

“Seriously, Brad. He doesn’t know you and he’s going to read you wrong if you don’t give him some encouragement.

“This is not a god damned Jane Austen novel,” Brad says angrily. He wants Nate to drop this. With luck he’ll never see Ray again and never need to deal with feelings and he can die alone in a pile of electronics.

“Fine, I’ll stay out of it,” Nate lies. “Mr. Darcy.”

“Bingley,” Brad growls.

~~~

 

Ray should have been more suspicious when Walt asks him to go out to dinner with some friends without mentioning who they were. To be fair Walt is the more social one so he is always dragging Ray to hang out with random people, but he was still being sneaky.

When they got to the restaurant Brad and Nate are there, naturally. Ray sighs internally.

“I take it Walt didn’t tell you who would be here?” Nate jokes.

“Nope,” Ray says. “He thinks he’s funny.”

“I didn’t tell Brad either,” Nate replies. That’s probably why Brad looks so grumpy.

“I hope he’s not disappointed,” Ray jokes. Brad cringes and Ray can feel his awkwardness increase.

“Brad has low expectations,” Nate says. It does nothing to help Ray’s nerves.

“Probably a good idea,” Walt says. “He hasn’t even experienced talkative Ray.”

“Wait,” Nate says. He glances at Ray in confusion. “Ray’s talkative? I think I’ve heard him say about three half-sentences since I met him. ”

Walt giggles. “Oh man. You should enjoy this while it lasts.”

Ray kicks him so hard in the shin that Walt’s chair moves.

“Rude!” he hisses.

“You’re rude,” Walt argues, sticking out his tongue for emphasis.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think that you two were a couple,” Nate says.

“Nah. We don’t know the marital bliss that you and Brad have,” Walt says off-handedly.

Brad chokes on his drink and Nate starts laughing so hard that he can’t breathe.

“I am not currently nor will I ever romance Nathaniel,” Brad forces out.  

Walt put his hands up defensively. “No offense meant. It just seemed like you two were closer than friends.”

“It happens all the time, “ Nate says.

“Must be tough when you’re trying to get a date,” Walt says.

“Bradley over there never dates,” Nate replies. “I, on the other hand, have to convince my partners that I am not gay with my best friend.”

Brad glares at Nate. “I date.”

Nate gives him a _look_. Brad looks back and raises his eyebrows. Ray is lost.

“Fine. Brad dates but he’s picky.”

Brad is either out of his league and not into dating or out of his league and picky about dating. Either way, Ray isn’t a part of the equation so he keeps quiet.

“How about you, Ray?” Nate asks innocently. Brad glares at him but Nate must be immune to his murder eyes.

“What about me?” Ray asks.

“Do you date?”

“I.. Uh…” Ray says dumbly. What was a polite way of saying you were going to die alone and leave an ugly corpse?

“He’s been too busy to meet people,” Walt replies smoothly. He didn’t even use pronouns to announce Ray’s gayness to them.

Ray fights a blush as both Brad and Nate study him.

“I just started grad school so it’s pretty intense. And I work…” he explains.

“That’s rough,” Nate agrees. “I bet your luck will change though.”

He winces and Ray guessed that Brad had hit him under the table. Ray doesn’t know why but it is probably an inside joke with them.

For some reason, Brad follows when Ray goes up to get another drink.

Brad gets hit on almost immediately after they reach the bar. Ray doesn’t want to cockblock Brad by being a terrible wingman so he moves down a couple seats to wait for the bartender. He’s a little bit jealous, but that’s not Brad’s fault. Ray’s just been single forever so he’s probably being weird because no one ever hits on him.

Brad looks around and gives Ray a weird look but Ray just gestures to the guy hitting on Brad and gives him a thumbs up. This is exactly why Walt complains that Ray is a terrible wingman.

Ray turns away from Brad to give him space and manages to get the bartender’s attention and head back to the table before Brad.

“And that’s why he’s picky,” Nate announces when Ray got to the table.

“It must be nice to have that many choices,” Walt says wistfully.

“You wouldn’t know what to do with them,” Ray jokes.

“I have a few ideas…”

“I don’t think Brad enjoys the attention as much anymore,” Nate says suddenly.

“I could make him a mask of Walt’s face,” Ray replies. “That should help.”

He was quick enough to miss getting kicked by Walt. This time.

Their antics are interrupted by Brad coming back and silently putting a beer in front of Ray.

“Thank you,” Ray says. “You didn’t…”

“Bartender made a mistake,” Brad replies. Of course, Brad wouldn’t do something like that for him.

“Oh. Still.”

Brad grunts.

“One day I hope to teach him to say more than ten words at a time,” Nate jokes. Brad glares at him and Walt laughs but Ray just quietly drinks his beer.

Ray has all the words in the world but none that could help him with Brad.

~~~

According to Walt, Ray has been unnaturally quiet around Nate and Brad. Brad knows that it is his fault because he gets monosyllabic around people he likes since he can’t figure out what to say. Brad also knows that this is super intimidating and that it makes Ray nervous. Ray’s even relaxed more around Nate, but as soon as Brad shows up he gets quiet again.

The first time he slips up and gets mouthy in front of them is trivia night.

“Are you out of your sister fucking mind, Walt? There is no way that is the right answer.” Ray pins down Walt’s hand and raises his own just in time to be the first.

“Who is is Princess Aurora?” Ray answers while glaring at Walt.

He is right but Walt is still pissy and slaps at his hands.

“You are the worst,” he hisses.

“At least I didn’t get her confused with Rapunzel. Did you get the foreign ripoff DVDs of that or what, homes?”

“This coming from a guy who thought up a bra shaped strip club,” Walt grumbles.

“Hey I was drunk,” Ray argues. “And if you think for half a second that any skeezeball walking in to pay to look at titties cares what the building looks like you’re more of a hick than I thought.”

Nate is cackling but Brad isn’t even twitching when Ray sneaks a glance at him. The smile drops from his face and he clams up for the rest of the night.

Brad is disappointed in himself. Why couldn’t he laugh along and make Ray feel more comfortable?

~~~

Ray is running a bit late to meet his professor for his fluid mechanics class so he pulls his skateboard out of his trunk and books it to the engineering offices across campus. He ends up being early so he has to wait outside his professor’s office while he finishes up with his last student. While he is waiting, Brad walks by.

Ray raises his hand to wave, but Brad’s glare stops him. He puts his hand down by his side and turns to stare at the posters and notices on the door. He wishes he could blend in with the wall. Or die.

He is relieved when the door opens and he can go in and talk about his upcoming project.  

He’s walking to the door when he’s surprised by Brad’s voice saying his name.

“Ray. Come in here a second.”

Ray approaches the doorway nervously. “Yes?”

“I didn’t know you were a student here,” Brad says.

“Uh I don’t think that I mentioned it,” Ray replies nervously. “I haven’t seen you around either.”

“First semester,” Brad grunts. “Adjunct.”

“How are you liking it?” Ray asks politely.

“Better than the last school I taught at.”

“They have a really good engineering program here,” Ray agrees.

Brad nods but doesn’t reply otherwise. They keep hitting the same wall every time they talk and Ray wants to hit his head against it in frustration.

“Well, I need to get going,” Ray says.

Brad nods again and Ray hustles out of his office.

On the way back to his car Ray starts to panic. Brad is a professor here and Ray is screwed. Ray sits in his car hyperventilating until he can drive himself home.

“I’m going to fail out of college,” he announces to Walt when he gets home.

“Not this again,” Walt moaned. “You’re going to graduate with a 4.0….”

“No for real this time. Why didn’t you warn me that Brad works in my department??”

“Brad doesn’t hate you, Ray,” Walt argues. “I don’t know why you think that.”

“Really, Walt?" Ray bitches. "He glares at me every time we hang out with Nate and Brad for one. Secondly, he never talks to me…”

“He does that to everyone, Ray. It’s not just you.”

“I know,” Ray huffs, “but it makes me nervous.”

Walt sighs. “Ray, your professors love you. Brad is an adjunct and won’t be able to convince everyone to hate you even if he wanted to. Your mentor has tenure.”

Ray takes a deep breath. “Thanks, Walt.”

“For the record,” Walt says. “I don’t think he hates you.”

“Noted,” Ray says. He’s so screwed.

~~~

 

Ray is woken up from his nap by the doorbell ringing off and on nonstop. He gets up and is startled when he looks through the peephole and sees Brad standing there.

Ray opens the door in the trashy tank top and shorts that he sleeps in. He can feel Brad’s judging eyes on all of his tattoos and his pale, gangly body.

“Nate's being annoying,” Brad states.

“Uh…” Ray gapes stupidly. “Did you want to come in?”

Brad huffs, following Ray into the living room. “That’s why I am here.” 

“You can watch tv or whatever in here,” Ray says. “I, uh, have homework so I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Brad grunts at him and Ray takes it as permission to leave him alone.

He lets out a deep breath when he shut his bedroom door behind him. He can’t figure out why Brad is in his living room. Maybe he’s fighting with Nate? Maybe he thought Walt would be home?

He’s so nervous that he changes out of his pajamas and into jeans and a shirt. He doesn’t know why he does it because Brad isn’t even in his space anymore but Ray still wants to make a good impression.

Ray tries to read his book but he must have dozed off because he is woken up when Brad comes into his room.

Brad looks startled, which is weird because this is Ray’s room and Brad is the interloper in this situation.

It feels like hours passed with Brad just standing there not saying anything. Ray doesn’t know what to do to make this situation less awkward. He’s never had people over at his house that didn’t come over to hang out with Walt and Brad is so painfully stoic.

“Did you need something?” Ray asks politely, adjusting his glasses.

Brad clears his throat. “I made some food.”

Ray blinks at him. What was he supposed to say to that? Why is this his life right now?

“For both of us,” Brad clarifies.

“Thanks,” Ray replies dumbly. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

After Brad shuts the door behind him Ray puts his face in his pillow and screams soundlessly through his nose. Who did he kill in a previous life to keep getting stuck in these situations?

Dinner is less awkward than Ray thinks it’s going to be but it’s still... awkward.

“I didn’t know what you’d like,” Brad says after they’ve been eating for a while.

“This is good. Thank you,” Ray replies. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

Brad shrugs. “It’s inefficient not to.”

Ray would be in love if he didn’t have self-preservation skills up the wazoo.

Ray thought Brad coming over was a fluke. A one-time thing. Maybe he panicked and had nowhere else to go or just happened to be in the neighborhood when he had a mental breakdown and forgot that he hated Ray.  
  
But it happens again. And again. Until Ray starts to expect Brad coming over with food or a book to sit silently on their couch like a creeper. They sort of talk sometimes. Mostly about school or engineering but they don’t hang out otherwise, but mostly Brad sits quietly and glares at the tv.

Sometimes Brad will nod at Ray in the hall at school but mostly it’s this bizarre thing that should have a huge effect on their relationship but doesn’t. They’re still not really friends, but it’s better than the shitty glaring that was happening before.

~~~

 

Ray’s been skateboarding in the park near the aquarium since he started grad school. He had initially gone there as a fluke but he kept going because this aggressive, wild looking, dark-haired man would come out and glare at Ray enough that it entertained him.

He gives him friendly waves and gets terrifying stares in return, but the man has never walked over so he can’t be too serious about it.

One day Ray sees Brad go into the aquarium and figures he’s just visiting until Ray starts seeing him there a lot. Ray, naturally, hides from Brad when he sees him coming but one day he gets caught.

“Ray!” he hears. He turns around reluctantly and waves at Brad. _Please go away. Please go away. Please go away…_

“Ray,” Brad says again. Ray sighs internally and braces himself for this conversation.

“Hi. Uh. What are you doing around here?” Ray asks.

“Second job,” Brad shrugs.

Ray nods. As per usual he has no idea what to say to Brad.

“Ron complains about the skateboarders,” Brad states. “Had to see if they were a real problem or not.”

“Well, it _is_ a skate park so probably not,” Ray snarks.

“I can see that,” Brad says.

Ray deflates. Why did Brad come over to talk if he wasn’t really going to talk? A wave would have been more than enough interaction for the both of them.

“Do you want a tour?” Brad asks suddenly. “Of the aquarium I mean.”

“Sorry but I can’t,” Ray says.”I have work soon.”

“Maybe later?” Brad sounds hopeful so Ray just nods.

“Sure.”

Ray has every intention of never going to the aquarium but somehow Walt finds out and now he _has_ to. Fuck.

“Ray,” Walt whines when Ray gets home. “You _have_ to go. Brad loves the aquarium.”

“Why don’t you go if it’s so great?” Ray asks pissily. He’s coming up on finals and everything is stressing him out.

Walt shoots him a _Look_ . “He invited _you._ ”

“So?!” Ray asks hysterically. “We barely talk. How are we going to survive an hour together where he has to talk to me exclusively?” This is insane. Walt is insane.

Walt rolls his eyes. “He wouldn’t have invited you if he didn’t want you there, doofus.”

Ray glares at Walt. He doesn’t want to be put in this situation by his well-meaning, but idiotic friend. Yet here he is again.

~~~

Ray doesn’t end up taking Brad up on his offer because finals happen and he’s taken time off work to hole up in the library to study.

He’s taking fewer classes as a grad student than he did as an undergrad (three instead of five), but grad classes are almost twice the work so he still needs a lot of time to get everything done. He can’t afford to lose his scholarship if his grades drop so he really buckles down.

It’s been about a week since he started avoiding everything before Brad somehow finds him at the library. Ray thinks he must be there to get a book or something for research and goes back to his reading. He’s startled out of concentration when a cup of coffee appears before him on the table.

He looks up and Brad is standing there. Brad nods at the cup of coffee and Ray takes the hint and picks it up.

“Thanks,” he says. He doesn’t know why Brad got him coffee. Brad’s not really the friendliest guy and he sure as hell doesn’t get them gifts, not even for Nate.

Brad grunts and, to Ray’s great surprise, sits down across from Ray at the table.

“Physical laws,” Brad says suddenly.

“Um.”

“Professor Klein’s test will focus on physical laws.”

Ray breaks out a pen and writes this down. “Wait how do you know this?”

“Professor Klein has a big mouth,” Brad says.  
  
Ray would have been completely fucked if Brad hadn’t told him that. They’d barely just started covering the topic so why would the bulk of the test on it?

“I think you just saved my ass,” Ray says mindlessly. “Well. All of our asses. You don’t mind if I share this info?”

“If you don’t mention where it came from,” Brad shrugs. “Students shouldn’t be punished because their  teacher is a moron.”

Ray gapes at him but before he can say anything Brad gets up and leaves.  He pulls out his phone and texts a few friends from class, telling them to pass it along. No sense in everyone failing because their teacher was an asshole.

“Bye?” Ray says to the empty chair. The fuck?

Thanks to Brad’s input Ray is more than prepared for Klein’s bullshit exam. He studied well enough for his other exams but this one would have tanked his grade. Well, brought it down to an A- but still.

He looks up Brad’s office hours and swings by with a black, unsweetened coffee (he asked Nate for Brad’s order) and a pastry from work.

He knocks lightly on the door, half hoping Brad won’t be there.

“Come in,” Brad says sternly.

Ray gently opens the door and peeks in.

“Ray,” Brad says. He sounds surprised and Ray can’t tell if it’s good surprised or bad surprised.

“I brought you some coffee,” Ray says quickly. He puts the coffee and pastry on Brad’s desk. “As a thank you.”  

Brad quirks his eyebrow up. “For what?”

Ray’s pretty obtuse but he knows better than to out Brad for his insight.

Ray shrugs. “Stuff.”

Brad actually half smiles in response. Progress!

“Well,” Ray says. “I need to go.”

He turns to leave and is at the door when he hears a soft, “Thank you, Ray.

After finals Ray’s back to working at the hole in the wall, not-Starbucks, coffee shop on campus when a sort of terrifying guy comes in, orders a coffee, and glares at him from a table near the register.  
  
Ray does his best to ignore him. He really needs to focus or he’ll get burnt trying to clean the espresso machine again. By the time he’s done the guy is still there, staring. Ray wilts under his glare. What is it with scary dudes showing up in his life? He’s already being tortured by Brad and the anti-skateboard man. Why is this guy even here?

When Ray looks up again the guy gives him a terrifying grin with lots of teeth and cold, dead eyes. Ray’s going to die and his manager is going to find his corpse when she comes in for the afternoon rush.  
Before Ray can do anything the cafe door slams open and Brad comes in. He looks angry and more than a little hot if Ray’s being honest. He doesn’t even look at Ray. Just walks over to the scary dude, grabs his arm, and hauls him out of the coffee store.

Ray is standing there, gaping like a fish, when Brad comes back in. He looks... ruffled for lack of a better term.

“Sorry,” he says. “Won’t happen again.”

“It’s ok?” Ray says.

“It’s not,” Brad says. “Poke needs to mind his own business.”

“Uh,” Ray says. “Ok?” Whose business was he trying to get involved in? Ray is so confused.

“Give me your phone.”

“What?” Ray asks. “Why?”

Brad rolls his eyes. “So I can give you my number. In case he comes back.”

Ray feels his hope soar then plummet so quickly that his stomach hurts. Of course, Brad doesn’t really want to give Ray his number. It was stupid to hope.

“Oh,” he says. “My phone’s in the back. Can’t afford to get fired for having it out during work hours.”

Brad grabs a napkin and uses a pen from his… Pocket protector, oh my god, to write his number out for Ray.

He slides it over to Ray and silently walks out the door.

~~~

As soon as Brad leaves the coffee shop he goes in on Poke.

“What the hell were you thinking?" Brad seethes.

Poke rolls his eyes. “I was thinking ‘who’s got my dumbass white brother writing in his diary and crying into his pillow?”

Brad glares at him.

“Turns out it some twink motherfucker with sad eyes that Iceman could snap in half has got him turned inside out,” Poke says evenly. “Why don’t you just take him back to your cave? Like all the other idiots you’ve been fascinated with.”

Brad sighs. “He’s not an idiot.”

“Oh,” Poke says. “It’s like _that_ . Heart eyes and shit. So you’ve got to act like a human being. Sure you can handle that, dawg?”

Brad looks unsure. “I’m trying,” he says, defeated.

Poke cackles. “Payback’s a bitch, dawg. You pumped and dumped so many people that you forgot how to wine and dine a motherfucker.”

“Espera,” Brad warns.

Poke puts his hands up in surrender. “I know _she_ fucked you up, but that ridiculous skater twink back there’d be lucky to have your Nordic white ass.”

“Thanks,” Brad says.

 

~~~

Nate comes over to visit Ray unexpectedly a few nights later.

“Walt’s not here,” Ray says, opening the door so Nate can come inside.

“I’m not here to see Walt,” Nate laughs.

“Ok?” Ray asks.

“Do you like Brad?” Nate asks suddenly. Ray almost trips on the hallway rug but catches himself at the last minute.

Ray gives Nate a weird look as he gets himself upright. “Of course. We get along now, Nate. Did you miss the memo?” He’s trying to lighten the mood so maybe Nate will quit this line of thought and leave Ray out of whatever scheme he’s got planned.

“I mean romantically,” Nate replies bluntly. Exactly what Ray wants to avoid.

“I plead the fifth,” Ray says. “Can neither confirm nor deny.”

Nate grins. “You should tell him.”

“Are you high?” Ray asks. “Know your limit stay within it, Nathaniel.”

“Is that a no?"

“That’s an ‘I like all my limbs where they are so I’m not going to purposefully anger Brad,’” Ray replies.

“He wouldn’t say no if you asked,” Nate states.

“I am disappointed in you,” Ray says blandly.  “This is something that Walt would do because he’s inbred.”

Nate’s face twitches.

“Ah,” Ray says. “Now I see. This was all Walt’s idea. Double no thank you. It is sad that such a smart guy has a solid F- in common sense.”

“But Ray,” Nate starts but Ray interrupts him.

“Don’t pull your boy next door shit on me, Nathaniel. I am not getting dismembered by the IKEA Jaeger because you two corn fed motherfuckers are trying to matchmake your friends.”

“Alright,” Nate agrees too easily. “I’ll drop it.”

Walt comes whining to Ray next, naturally.

“Raaaaaay,” Walt whines when he gets home. Son of a bitch.

“Put those puppy eyes away, Walt. You know that I have immunity because I have no soul,” Ray says blandly. He’s lying on the couch, reading a book that looks like it’s a few grades above his reading comprehension level given his filthy mouth.

He hates to admit it but it takes some effort to keep his voice even. His talk with Nate made him feel more vulnerable than he would ever admit. Yeah, he likes Brad, but so does everyone else that hits on him when they go out and Brad still doesn’t really talk to Ray. Ray is just as shallow as the other people that hit on Brad and he’s not going to be like that.

“Nate said that Brad is pining stoically for you,” Walt says matter of factly.

Ray puts his book down and lasts about ten seconds before he starts laughing so hard that he nearly gets the hiccups. Walt is pouting and has crossed his arms.

“So your big plan to solve this highly unlikely problem,” Ray says when he calmed down. “Is to have me walk up to an angry Nordic Viking and ask him if he wants to stick it in me and hold hands later?”

Walt glares daggers at him while he nods.

“You two have lost your fucking minds,” Ray says. “You need to seriously leave me out of this. I belong at the bottom of the dating pool with those fucked up blobs from the Little Mermaid. Brad is so far out of my league he’s not even in the water anymore.”

Walt’s eyes soften. “He’s not out of your league…”

“I’m not even in a league, Walt. You’re missing the point here.”

“You’re too hard on yourself….”

“Oh, Jesus. Let’s skip the slumber party pep talk tonight, Walt.”

“You’re really not going to do anything about it?”

“Literally no,” Ray says. “I would rather lie on the curve at a NASCAR race than talk to Brad, or anyone else, about my feelings.”

“Even if he likes you the same way?” Walt asks.

“He doesn’t but if he did Brad will find someone else, Walt. He’ll be fine I promise.”

“He’s not the one I’m worried about,” Walt says softly.

“I promise you that I’ll be fine. Can we please never talk about this again?” Ray asks. He is in the middle of a god damned homosexual country song and he would like to go back to avoiding his feelings.

Walt nods but doesn’t look happy about it.

~~~

 

To say things were awkward the next time they all hung out did not do the situation justice. It was like calling a volcano temperate or Antarctica chilly.

Thankfully Brad was his usual emotionally obtuse self because Ray had both Nate and Walt giving him encouraging looks the entire time. For some reason, the scary guy who came into the coffee shop was there too.  
  
He toned down his murder eyes and was ranting about Pocahontas so Ray kind of liked him a lot.  
  
Other than whatever set Poke off initially there was barely any talking through the entire meal and Brad kept staring at Ray like he _knew_ . It was enough to give Ray hives.

“I uh have to be heading out,” Ray says after they pay their bill. Usually, after dinner, they went out and talked over drinks or something but Ray needs an out.

“Homework?” Walt asks. As much as he’s a goat fucker he’s still got Ray’s back when he needs it.

Ray nods.”Whose bright idea was it for me to go to summer school?”

“Yours,” Brad said stiffly, scowling when Poke elbows him in the ribs.

Ray laughs awkwardly. “Haha yeah.” He feels like he’s missing something. Like everyone’s in on the joke but him. It’s not a good feeling.

“I’ll come with you, Ray,” Walt says. He’s such a great friend. He’ll probably get Ray some ice cream and let him mope until he feels better.

Ray waves a hand at the group and leaves. Walt follows him after saying goodbye properly.

“Well, that was awkward,” Brad says blithely.

“No shit,” Poke says.

Nate grimaces. “Well can you really blame him, Brad? You’re supposed to be making him feel _more_ comfortable around you not glare at him during dinner.”

Brad shrugs.

“Do you,” Nate starts. He huffs before starting again. “Are you still interested in him? Or do you just not like him anymore?”

Brad frowns at him.

“It’s a fair question,” Nate says. “You’ve gotten to know him better. Been leading him on a bit only to shut him down again the second he starts getting friendly back.”

“Fuck you,” Brad says.

“You can pretend to hate me all you want, Brad,” Nate says. “You know I’ll stick around. If you want Ray to stick around you need to do a little more than glare at him and make him feel like shit.”

Brad looks down at his hands. “Is that what I’ve been doing?”

“Lately? Yeah,” Nate says.

“You’re yo-yoing him, dog,” Poke adds. “It’s going to fuck with his head.” He gives Brad a very pointed look.

“What should I do then?” Brad asks. He’s kind of lost. Usually, people come to him not the other way around.

“He seems pretty oblivious,” Poke says. Nate nods so he continues with, “So you should just be direct with him.”

“Tony’s right,” Nate adds. “Ray will just talk his way out of it if you aren’t clear.”

Brad sighs. He’s _not_ scared of a nerdy skateboarder. He’s the goddamned Ice Man.

~~~

By some miracle from holy heaven, Ray gets asked out on a date by a classmate.

“Waaaaaaaalt!” Ray sings cheerfully when he got home.

“What do you want?” Walt grumbles from the couch.

“I have a date! Finally, homes.”

“With Brad?” Walt perks up.

Ray snorts. “Someone from my class.”

“Don’t tell Brad,” Walt pleads, looking panicked. Ray rolls his eyes. Not this again.

“I’m not telling anyone so it’s not embarrassing when it doesn’t lead to anything,” Ray replies.

Walt sighs in relief. “You’ll be fine, Ray.”

“Gotta go get ready,” Ray says. “Shine my shoes, get mice to make my dress. You know the drill.”

“With that disturbing image,” Walt snarks. “I’ll take my leave.”

The date goes _ok_ for Ray. It’s not terrible but it’s not really spark inducing. He’ll probably agree to another date just to see if anything improves, but it’s doubtful.

Ray comes home to a dark house. Walt’s out getting dinner with some of his friends and Ray’s kind of glad to be able to relax before the interrogation begins.

He’s able to take a shower, change into some pajamas, and get into a book when there’s an aggressive knock on the door. It’s probably Brad.

He looks through the peephole and sure enough, it’s Brad looking extra grumpy.

He opens the door with the chain still on. “No solicitors!” he says cheerfully.

“Cut the shit, Ray,” Brad grunts. Nate must have really been bugging Brad to make him this humorless.

“Sure, homes.” Ray unbolts the door and lets Brad lock it behind him.

He resumes his reading position on the couch and Brad sits in the chair, fidgeting. They sit there quietly for a while before Brad speaks.

“Have you ever thought about taking a chance on something that could backfire?” Brad asks suddenly.

Ray freezes. Brad never asks him questions like this.

“No,” Ray says truthfully. “I have had enough problems without taking extra chances.” He shudders thinking about his younger days. There’s no way he’d invite extra chaos when he’s had enough things blow up in his face.

Brad gives him a sad look. “Ray…”

“Brad…” Ray parrots. “You should talk to Walt about this. He’s better at this kind of advice.”

“I don’t want to talk to Walt,” Brad says sulkily. “I want to talk to _you_ .”

Ray looks up when he hears the door opening and was relieved to see Walt walk in.

“Hey Walt, Brad wants to…”

“This isn’t working,” Brad mumbles and Ray feels himself get tugged over and then whoa kissing.

“Nate owes me so much money,” Walt says cheerfully before heading to his room.

Ray gently pushes Brad back. “What’s going on here?”

Brad’s eyebrows go up the way they usually do when he thinks he’s being funny. “If you don’t know you must not have been doing it right before.”

“Ha ha,” Ray says sarcastically. “I mean why are you suddenly kissing me?”

Brad’s face does some weird contortions before it goes back to stoic.

“This wasn’t sudden,” Brad argues.

“Oh God,” Ray says, facepalming. “Was Nate right? Were you pining?”

Brad looks extra grumpy so Ray takes that as a yes.

“So this is…”

Brad glares. “This is me declaring my intention to date you,” he says flatly.

Ray looks at him, dumbfounded. “Holy shit,” he says stupidly.

Brad rolls his eyes and kisses Ray again.

~~~

It takes a while for Ray to feel comfortable being his mouthy, filthy, weird self around Brad. Brad is still stoic and mostly silent but he asks Ray questions to keep his ranting weird rambles going. It’s not until Brad busts out his Big Gay Al impression that Ray starts mouthing off more around him.

Ray can’t figure out if Brad’s incredibly slow paced and sort of demure approach to dating is the most frustrating or charming thing on the planet. Ray is already unsure of himself because he hasn’t really dated much but after Brad’s declaration of intent things are moving at a strange pace.

Before their fifth date Brad keeps his hands above the waist and pulls away before their kisses can get too intense. As much as Ray appreciates that Brad is being a gentleman he also has the bluest of balls because Brad is fucking smoking hot and is handsy as fuck.

Ray tries not to be too disappointed when their first foray into the bedroom ends with the sloppiest, most fulfilling blowjob of all time and... nothing else. Ray’s not complaining. It’s pretty great but Brad is a pretty intense dude and it’s confusing that he’s holding himself back even though they both seem to be on the same page now.

He makes Ray wait almost two months until he is pretty much thrown over Brad’s shoulder and then ravaged. Well, less ravaged and more slowly and thoroughly fucked until Ray can’t even breathe.

They hit a sort of snag three months into seeing each other. Brad is acting weird. He’s been kind of avoiding Ray and Ray’s kind of left wondering if he’s about to get a Dear John letter in the mail and a broken heart.

Brad shows up unexpectedly on a Saturday and herds Ray straight into his room.

“Um,” Ray says, putting a hand on Brad’s chest when he tries to kiss him. “What’s going on with you?”

Brad looks constipated. Well, more so than usual. “My ex-girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend.”

Ray was not expecting that.

“High school friend. High school girlfriend,” Brad says. “Came back from junior year of college and found them in a compromising position.”

Ray doesn’t know how to respond. He can’t tell if Brad’s done or if this is about to get worse.

“I just got a birth announcement,” Brad explains. “They got married a few months after I saw them. Probably were going out behind my back the whole time I was with her.”

“Shit,” Ray says. No wonder Brad was such a disaster with people. Two knives in the back from people he trusted.

“I _know_ you’re not like that,” Brad says angrily.

Ray deflates. He senses a “but” coming.

“I love you,” Brad says unexpectedly.

Ray is in shock. What?

“What?” 

“I. Love. You,” Brad enunciates slowly. Like he’s adding “fucking hick” in his head after saying each word.

“Holy shit,” Ray exclaims happily.

“Not the answer I was hoping for,” Brad says grumpily.  
  
Ray shakes his head. “I love you, Brad. This is just. _Not_ where I saw this talk going.”  
  
“I was trying to help you understand why I’ve been…”

“A lunatic?” Ray interrupts.

Brad rolls his eyes. “Slow moving in our relationship,” he corrects.

“It was romantic,” Ray says. “I’ve never really. I didn’t have anyone in high school. Or college for that matter.”

“Oh,” Brad says softly.

Ray wraps his arms around himself defensively. “Yeah.”

“It’s ok,” Brad says. “I’m glad everyone around you was too fucking moronic to realize what was right in front of them.”

“I love you too,” Ray says. “Nerd.”

Brad huffs and pulls Ray in for a kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 year later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The representations of the men featured in Generation Kill is based on characterizations in the show and not on the real men. No disrespect is intended.

Brad is acting strangely. He’s reverted back to his old stoic Nordic Viking bullshit and it’s driving Ray crazy. Brad hasn’t acted like this since Nate caught him moving Nate’s shit out without permission in order to have Ray move in with him (also without asking).

Ray is surprised he has hearing left in his ears after THAT screaming match. He’s never seen either Brad or Nate that angry before. He was equally as surprised when Brad came and apologized to him for “not asking or taking his feelings into consideration.” A total quote from Nate if he’s ever heard one.  
  
Brad isn’t very verbal. Even after almost a year, he’s still in his Tarzan phase with Ray. Grunting, monosyllabic. Hot as fuck. Brad stuff. It’s still frustrating as shit though.

They live together now and it’s like having a weird gay roommate he makes out with and bangs (a lot). He’s only lived with Walt and they’ve been best friends since forever so living with someone else is very weird. Especially when that person isn’t very talkative.

Walt lives with Nate now that they both got ditched (their words not Ray’s). Ray’s still over there bugging Walt more often than not because Brad’s got a weird schedule and Ray doesn’t like being alone.  
  
It’s one of the rare times he’s home alone that Ray finds a book. Well, a stack of printed paper Brad put into a binder. It was thick enough to be a book. It’s intriguing as fuck and Ray should totally not read it.  
  
Well, he can read the top page. That won’t hurt, right?

 _How to Date After Infidelity._ __  
  
Communication is Key.

_How to Be a Good Boyfriend._

  
Ray slams the book closed. He never fucking saw this. It’s like he found a fucking alien notebook from another planet and he needs to translate it. Except HE NEVER FUCKING SAW THIS.

He can’t even tell Walt about this. Brad confided in Ray. Ray found his private… whatever. Ray was going to take this to the grave.

~~~

They are relaxing on the couch watching Round Planet when Brad gets communicative again.

“My parents are coming to visit,” Brad says out of nowhere. Well, THAT explains so much. Jesus.

Ray doesn’t know what Brad wants him to do here. Meet them. Leave the apartment while they are here. Move out of town. Fling himself off a cliff...

What feels like eons later Brad finally finishes his thought. “I want them to meet you.”

“Ok,” Ray says. “I’d be happy to meet them.” _After I have like twelve heart attacks_ , Ray thinks.  
  
It takes a couple weeks, but eventually, Brad’s parents come over so they can go out to dinner. Ray is expecting two more blonde, stoic, Nordic weirdos. What he gets kind of blows his mind.

They are shorter than he expected and kind of hippies. And by kind of hippies, he means tie-dye, pot, and long, dark, frizzy hair. They are so visually different from Brad that Ray’s brain is having trouble computing.

“Bubbeleh,” Brad’s mom says when she comes in the door. Ray had no idea anyone on Earth actually used that term in real life. He's only heard it on The Nanny. 

Brad’s dad follows close behind her carrying an excessive amount of casserole dishes.

“Your mother thinks you’re going to starve to death,” he says in lieu of a hello.

Ray cannot stop staring at Brad trying to see how he reacts to this. Are his parents being weird to stress Brad out (something that is really really fun) or are they always like this?

“You must be Ray,” Brad’s mom says as she goes in for a hug. She’s even shorter than Ray (ie short as fuck). What a trip. “I’m Deborah.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Colbert.”

She laughs so hard it _almost_ becomes a cackle. “Do you hear that? Mrs. Colbert. That’s what the kids at work call me.”

Ray shrinks. He still doesn’t know what to do when he flubs and someone laughs at him. Especially not Brad’s _mom_ who he can’t just curse out.

“Oh, honey,” she says. “I wasn’t laughing at you. It’s sweet that you’re so formal. Isn’t he sweet, Harold?”

Harold hella rolls his eyes behind Deborah’s back. Harold is bomb. “Yes, dear.”

“Now, Bradley. Where do you and Ray want to go out for dinner?”

“I thought…” Ray pointed to the refrigerator where the absurd amount of Tupperware in the fridge.

“Don’t argue,” Brad hisses. “You won’t win.”

“I’m just confused,” Ray says quietly. He grew up poor and it’s weird to him to have food in the house and still go out to eat.

“Casseroles are for the work week,” Brad explains in a low whisper. “They are taking us out so they can spend money on me without an argument.”

“Oh,” Ray says.

“Ray loves that Japanese restaurant on 5th,” Brad says loudly as if they were discussing their options.

“Wonderful,” Harold says. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

Things get weirder when they get to the restaurant.

Turns out Brad’s parents are rich, Jewish hippies. Ray kind of wants to punch both Brad and Nate in the face for not warning him. They are really nice but Ray feels like he can’t stop gaping like an idiot. How did these people produce a tall blonde stoic weirdo like Brad? They are complete opposites.

“I’m so glad they passed the marijuana law,” Deborah says casually after they’ve been seated. “So much easier to make special brownies for bridge night.”  
  
Ray looks at Brad who is looking somewhere out the window. Fucking Bradley.

They have just ordered their meals when Brad's parents start in on parent stuff.

“I’m glad you’re such a nice boy,” Deborah says before taking a sip of her cocktail. “His last girlfriend was a total bitch.”

“MOM,” Brad groans. Ray is DELIGHTED. Ha!

“What? She was.”

“It was disappointing when we found out that you weren’t dating Nathaniel,” Harold says. “But that girl…” He shakes his head.  

“Let’s not talk about her please,” Brad pleads. He shoots a look at Ray. Ray pointedly looks out the window. Ha!

“Ok,” Deborah says easily.

“So when are you two having kids?” Harold asks. Ray does a literal spit take and starts choking to death.

“ _Dad_ ,” Brad says.

“What? I want grandkids.”

Brad rubs his forehead. “One step at a time, dad.”

“We're not getting any younger,” Harold argues.

Ray starts chugging his beer. He's going to need it if they keep talking about kids. There are a few seconds of awkward silence before Ray cracks.

“I’d like to see Brad’s baby pictures,” he says hysterically. He’ll help Brad out but he also really needs blackmail material. “If you have any with you.”

Deborah smirks at Brad and pulls a photo envelope from her purse. She tosses it to Ray who easily catches it  
  
“Ooh,” he says happily.

“Those copies are yours,” she says. When Ray looks up Brad looks constipated and ready to rip it out of his hands. “And if Brad so much as tries to look at them I’m going to email you the one of him in the bath with just his yarmulke on.”

Brad sulks, but he doesn’t say anything because he is a total mama’s boy. Holy shit!!

Ray grins up at her. “Thank you, Deborah. You're a gem.”

~~~

“A little warning would have been nice,” Ray says, digging his fingers into Brad’s side _just so._  Brad winces.

“Are my parents really that bad?” he asks. His voice is flat but Ray can hear the slight unease in his voice.

“Not at all,” Ray soothes. “I was just expecting two more tall, stoic, Nordic weirdos not two hippie Jews talking about pot. I thought I was going to have to carry the whole goddamn conversation.”

“I’m adopted,” Brad says.  
  
Ray startles. “Excuse me?” He knows, logically, that those people probably could not have genetically produced Brad, but he’s still shocked. Mostly because Brad never told him.

“I was adopted when I was a baby.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me this _before_ I met your parents?”

Brad sighs. “I didn’t think that data was important for a successful meeting. I thought you’d get along with them.”

“Well I did,” Ray admits. “BUT STILL.”

Brad’s face does a thing and Ray wonders if he’ll write about this in his dating how-to notebook that Ray knows NOTHING about. Shit.

“I’m just not good with people,” Ray says.

Brad snorts. “Better than I am.”

Ray rolls his eyes. They aren’t having this conversation _again_.

“Do you think they liked me?”

Brad huffs. “I haven’t dated anyone in years.”

Ray glares at him then looks up to the sky in a silent prayer to Zeus. That’s not a fucking answer.

“They like you, Ray,” Brad clarifies. “You’re amazing.”

~~~

Ray is fucking around on his laptop on Neopets, playing Meerca Chase for fuck sake, when Brad comes over and goes down on one knee.

“Get your ass up off the ground right this second,” Ray says hysterically. “You’re taking me to dinner at the fancy steak place. Right now.”

“Is that a no?” Brad asks sadly.

“That’s a ‘you’re not proposing to me while I play Neopets,’” Ray argues. “I can’t tell my MOM that. Jesus Christ.”

He runs his hand through his hair and almost laughs. That fucking dating notebook didn’t fucking tell Brad to propose romantically? Fucking hell.

“But you like Neopets,” Brad says solemnly from the floor.

“I fucking love Neopets,” Ray agrees. “And we can tell THAT story to Poke, Nate, and Walt. You can’t do that to my _mom_. They wouldn’t find your body.”

Brad perks up.

“Go get dressed,” Ray says. Brad is wearing the weird Adult Costume he wears to teach and Ray’s not having it. “Wear that black button up with those pants I like.”

Brad gets up and Ray can hear the thump thump of Brad’s big Nordic ass dragging himself to the bedroom like a neanderthal.

He’s going to marry that idiot. Good lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if anything is off about how I wrote Brad's Jewish parents. I wanted them to be more like the parents in Meet The Fockers than anything but I want to make sure I didn't make a joke out of Jewish culture itself.


End file.
